Joy in forgiveness, a follow up!

                                                joy is Yours for the taking!   Joy in forgiveness…I recently posted on this but wanted to follow up! The joy is for you, the forgiveness is for you.  That’s it, it is ALL for you. Of course the person receiving forgiveness benefits but the doing of the forgiving is all for you, yourself, and you!!!   When we hang onto our anger, hurt, resentment, et al. we are creating a negatively charged set of feelings that are now a choice. If we feel it, and feel it AND feel it some more we are choosing our own misery.  I was watching a video Brene Brown did (on Facebook no less) and she was speaking about boundaries.  She went on to say that when we don’t set and hold good boundaries we end up resentful.   We began to believe that other people are sucking on purpose (or hurting us, or angering us) just because they can.  When we don’t choose to hold our own boundaries with others, we get hurt BUT (and its a biggie) we are responsible for the discomfort we feel. This relates to forgiveness because it is also a choice.  Also, when we have good boundaries we are clear and we communicate more clearly with others and they know we mean what we say and then they don’t accidentally cross your boundaries as often.  AND when they do cross them you are in charge of your response….you choose how it impacts you.  You hold the boundary with love and kindness instead of getting so pissed “They did That to You”.   So, you...
How to know if your friend is actually toxic

How to know if your friend is actually toxic

Friends should be a source of happiness and support, but unfortunately that is not always the case. Sometimes we find ourselves in relationships with people who do us more harm than good, by hurting our self-esteem, causing us pain, or bringing us down. Toxic friends aren’t always easy to spot. Sometimes, we don’t realize our friend is bad for us, or we chalk it up to circumstance. We blame ourselves for being overly sensitive, and continue our friendship with the person who is keeping us from our own joy. But this only makes us feel worse. So how can you tell if you have a toxic friend? Chances are, if you think she may be, she probably is. If she causes you stress, hurt, or frustration, it might not be worth continuing the relationship. One warning sign is someone who’s always putting you down. She might do it in such a way that it isn’t entirely clear, like a backhanded compliment. But if you consistently walk away from hanging out with her and feel worse about yourself, she’s not being a good friend. Another type of toxic friend is the woman who is always pressuring you to engage in behaviors you usually wouldn’t partake in. Whether that is gossiping and being unkind, or drinking more than you would otherwise, she’s constantly getting you to do things you’re not entirely comfortable with. There’s no need to be friends with someone who doesn’t support you for who you are, so if she’s trying to change you or coerce you, it’s time to cut her loose. There are other less obvious behaviors...